Blog | Insights

Left behind by suicide

Did your loved one die by suicide? These are the emotions you may feel

Thousands of people end their lives by suicide every year in the UK, with men aged 45 to 49 having the highest rate.*

Deaths by suicide rose by 10.9% in the UK in 2018.*

But as you read this are you thinking about the person who took their life, or the loved ones left behind? 

More than likely, it’s the person who died.

Whereas, if you’re the one who’s been left behind, you’ll have been thrown into a world where you could struggle to get the support you need. The intense and powerful emotions you experience could be so painful you feel your heart is literally breaking.

And the stigma of suicide may prevent you from discussing what’s happened. Many people don’t feel able to say their loved one took their own life because they aren’t sure what the reaction will be.

So, if you can’t express your thoughts and feelings, then you may feel your only option is to supress your grief.

Here are some of the emotions you may feel:

Shock – You may not be able to process the news that your loved one is dead.  You feel numbness and disbelief and until you’re able to see your loved one, you don’t quite believe the news.

Confusion – You may search and search for the reason behind the suicide to make sense of what’s happened. Unfortunately, the only person who can truly provide those answers is now dead.

Anger – The feeling you’ve been abandoned by your loved one is all too real. To point the finger at your dead loved one and say ‘You left me’ is very normal. Anger at yourself, or others for not seeing the signs, is also commonplace.

Despair – The physical and emotional responses of grief mean you may feel completely despairing and helpless, which can lead you to feel you’re falling apart.

Guilt – If you hadn’t left the house that morning, or you hadn’t gone shopping that Saturday afternoon, perhaps everything would be different. Why couldn’t you have prevented the suicide occurring? Guilt can eat away at you and you blame yourself for what happened.

Feelings of rejection – What was so bad about you? Why weren’t you, or your relationship, enough to stop your loved one from ending their life? Believing you weren’t good enough adds to the already complicated emotions in play.

As you try to make sense of what’s happened, you may be overwhelmed at different times of the day and night – and this can go on for not just for weeks, but months and years.

Whatever you’re experiencing, it’s important to remember you’re not alone.

The good news is there’s a way to help you move beyond bereavement and find focus and direction in your life again. The Grief Recovery Method® is the only evidence-based programme which gives you the tools you need to move on in your life following a significant emotional loss such as suicide. 

Telling you to move on is so easy to say but The Grief Recovery Method® actually shows you how. Through a structured 8-week programme, you’ll learn the actions needed to resolve your grief so you can move forward with your life. 

Every step of the way you’ll be supported. 

You have to be open to changing the way you think and there’s a small amount of self-study to do each week.

For more information about the One-to-One programmes available, please click here

You’ll receive a FREE 20-minute consultation where you can find out more about The Grief Recovery Method®.

Or please call 07969 579108, or Get in touch 

*Statistics from The Samaritans website, 2021

Browse more content

Embracing your inner critic: exploring the power of internal family systems

Mental Health Awareness week 2024

Mindfulness and achieving a good work-life balance